Sorry, that's not my name.

Let's get one thing very clear. I don't call people. That's not my job. I answer the phone. That's my job. So when you call me and say "Hi Linda. This is John Doe! I'm sorry I missed your call earlier, I was up stairs..." and so on and so forth, you're barking up the wrong tree.

I'm not Linda, or Melissa, or John, or Larry. I'm the receptionist-and I'm at the switchboard. That's why I answer with my company's name. If I were any of these people, I'd be much more likely to say something like "Company name, this is Linda." Something like that. But I don't. And my phone's ringing (because I'm at the switchboard). I'm not interested in why you didn't answer Linda's call. I'm only interested in which Linda you think you're speaking with so I can transfer your call to her. I'm sure she'd like to hear about how you were upstairs and heard the phone all the way downstairs, but were just way too busy to get to the call at that moment because the new puppy was playing with your 3 year old and accidentally bit her on the ear and then the kid started crying. But really it was just a scratch, no big deal, the kid was just kinda freaked out you know? I mean, wouldn't you be? You totally would. I know I would.

Actually, she probably wouldn't care to hear that story either. But she'll be much better at pretending than me, because all I'd like to do is answer all those other lines that are ringing.