The lack of webcam surveillance-why I don't know if someone is at their desk

I don't know about your company, but at mine, we don't have webcam surveillance at everyone's desk. Therefore, I do not have a viewing screen at my switchboard of all the people at all the desks. If I did, then when you called me and asked me if John Doe was at his desk, I could actually tell you. But, my company is just not interested in spending that kind of money just in case someone really, really, really wants to know if John's at his desk at that very moment. So they haven't made that investment on your behalf. I'm terribly sorry to be the one that has to break that to you. I just don't know if John is at his desk or not. And no matter how many times you ring back to me and demand to that I tell you where he is, this fact will not change...

But if you ring back to me one more time because he's not answering the phone, you give me much more drive to invent a transporter type thing like in "Star Trek". Because I will use it to find you. And you don't want me to do that; I have a lot of pent-up aggression. So leave a message on John's voicemail. When he gets back to his desk, I bet he'll check his message. Then he'll call you back, and you'll both know he's at his desk and we'll all be much happier.