I know it's been a very long time since I've posted. I do apologize, but I felt most everything you need to know to properly use a phone and speak to people that answer phones was covered fairly thoroughly.
I just had a call though that prompted the need for a new post.
Let me just give you a brief rundown of how many front desk/greeter/receptionist positions work. I grant you this is not the case in all business establishments, as evidenced by the extreme lack of awareness demonstrated regularly in the calls I receive. Clearly my blog needs to be more widely circulated.
A receptionist may have many duties. In addition to the obvious duty of answering the phone (and she/he may or may not be the only person tasked with answering said phone), she/he may also be expected to greet clients (more than likely this is in fact the case), as well as general office duties such as sorting mail, filing, accepting packages and any other such thing that no one else feels they should need to do-yet knows needs to get done. Depending on the company, that can add up to a lot of additional work. What I'm trying to say here is that a receptionist/switchboard operator does not have time for you to be a stubborn pouty mule. If only because there is likely another call ringing, and we'd like to be able to transfer that call.
Our job is not to be abused by unhappy people. I'm sure that's what you had children for. We often cannot do more for you than transfer your call. You're tirade or rude tones or what have you are unhelpful to all involved. Not helpful to me, or to the other people holding or hearing the line ring and ring, and certainly not helpful to yourself.
Would you like to know why you are not helping yourself? I knew you did! Read on...
A receptionist tends to have a large vocabulary. I know this may seem surprising as mostly what you hear in your interactions with one of our breed is "Thank you for calling (insert company name here). How may I direct your call?" We actually have a full grasp of the English language. Shocking you say? Proof you demand? Well, I've managed to string a bunch of words together here on this very webpage, and you're able to comprehend what is written! I also know how to verbalize these words, and I know most other receptionists are perfectly capable of this as well.
Where I'm getting at with this is if you are calling a small to mediumish firm, and you abuse the receptionist/switchboard operator, there is a very good chance said abused phone operator is going to tell the person you are attempting to reach, or the person that can help you with whatever you seem to be upset over, that you are rude and were mean to us.
Put another way? We're going to tell on you for being a big jerk. This is unhelpful to you because most people in an office are fairly protective of their support staff, and often have an especially soft spot for...get ready for this...THE RECEPTIONIST! So, when they're told you were out of line in your treatment of someone they are protective of, do you really think that is going to get you the result you want? Are you familiar with the phrase "You catch more flies with honey"? It's true. Actually, I have no idea if that's a fact. But when used as a metaphor, it's totally true.
Let me give you two sample conversations below. There will be a test at the end. In order to pass, you must answer only one question correctly. The catch? There's only one question on the test. If needed, reread the above and you should be able to ace this test! It's worth your whole grade for this class.
Example #1:
Receptionist/Switchboard: Thank you for calling _________. How may I direct your call?
You: Yeah. Gimme so and so.
R/SB: One moment
You: (Holding for a moment)
R/SB: I do apologize, _______ is not answering his/her line. May I take a message? (note, even in this day and age, not everyone maintains a voicemail box, so if someone offers to take a message, you should assume voicemail is not an option.)
You: (non pleasant tone) Yeah, no. Is ________ even in the office today?!
R/SB: _________ is in, he/she is just not answering his/her line. I'd be happy to take a message.
You: (same non pleasant tone) Yeah. I'm sure you would. So you're probably NOWHERE NEAR ________'s office right?!
R/SB: No unfortunately I'm not.
You: (even more non pleasant tone) Are you even in the same BUILDING?!?!?!
R/SB: Yes I am. I'll be HAPPY to take a message for you.
You: (same more non pleasant tone) Yeah. (prolonged silence) What are our options here?!
R/SB: Again, I will be happy to take a message however I do need you to hold as I have other calls coming in.
You: (you do not get an option to respond as you were immediately put on hold)
R/SB: Thank you for holding. As I said, I'll be happy to take a message.
You: (same more non pleasant tone) Yeah. (prolonged silence) Fine tell ________ that ________ called!
R/SB: And your number?
You: (same more non pleasant tone and speaking very slowly as if teaching a toddler how to count to 10 for the bajillionth time) (123) 456-7891
R/SB: I will let him know.
You: AND...!
R/SB: Disconnects call
Example #2
Receptionist/Switchboard: Thank you for calling _________. How may I direct your call?
You: Yes, may I speak with so and so? Variants: Yes, so and so please or Yes, extension 1234 please.
R/SB: One moment please.
You: (Holding for a moment)
R/SB: I do apologize, _______ is not answering his/her line. May I take a message?
You: Yes. Please tell _______ that ________ called. I can be reached at (123) 456-7891.
R/SB: I will let _______ know.
You: Thank you.
End of call
Here comes the test.
Which of the above examples would be the most appropriate way to handle yourself if you are trying to reach someone but they are for some reason unavailable to speak with?
Example #1 or Example #2
(Scroll down for the answer)
If you answered Example #2, congratulations! You've chosen the correct answer! You are likely able to effectively communicate your needs over the phone. You probably have friends too.
If you answered Example #1, Unfortunately that is very much the incorrect answer.
If you chose Example #1, it is likely that you wonder why people don't like being around you (because after all, you're so great AND important!). You most likely have been called a jerk more than once in recent memory. Some advice. You need to learn how to be more respectful of others. Especially "the little people" that are so much less important than you, as they are the people that make the world go 'round.
Being rude takes a lot more effort than being nice most of the time, so once deciding it's not worth the trouble you put into being a jerk, you may find you have more energy for things like walks in the park with your family and exercise. You'll likely sleep better too. Not to mention reducing your risk of heart disease (that's an actual fact, not making it up). More people will introduce you as their friend instead of, oh yeah this is so and so ( and then mumbles to their real friend "you know, that JERK I told you about?").
Oh, and if you stop being such a terrible person, no one will think when you die "Eh. Whatever."
I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity in this entry to not only help you better learn how to effectively communicate over the phone, but also have been able to improve your status as a decent human being.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
IKMTYS-A silent epidemic
I know it has been some time since I've posted. I do apologize. But to be honest, the phone usage mistakes I've been dealing with have been variations on topics we've already covered. However, I find that a review of listening is in order, as a lack of listening skill can be an indication of a much more insidious problem. Below is an overview of a conversation I had just yesterday that I hope will bring attention to this important issue. We will then discuss! (and by we I mean me-comments are disabled.)
Me-Answer the phone with my company name
Her-Hello?
Me-Hello (my company name)
Her-What?
Me-This is (my company name)
Her-Yeah, I need to speak with John Gobldygook
Me-I'm sorry, what was the last name?
Her-Doe
Me-I'm sorry, I don't have anyone with that name. Were you trying to reach (my company name)?
Her-Yes!
Me-I am sorry, but there is no one here by that name.
Her-He's your CEO!
Me-No ma'am. My CEO's name is not similar to that.
Her-Is this blah blah blah bank in Florida?
Me-No. This is (my company name).
Her-Click!
Now, shall we look at where things went wrong, and why I am concerned? Yes, let's do that. First, I said my company name five times before she actually listened to the words I spoke. And frankly, I'm quite sure that she would not have listened to those words had she not first asked the question (granted, technically it was the third time she asked but we'll assume the call started with a somewhat bad connection). This was a classic symptom that she is indeed suffering from the illness I'll describe shortly.
The second symptom that causes me to believe there is a problem occurred when I asked her if she was trying to reach (my company name). She experienced an auditory hallucination. This is where you hear something that did not happen. In this instance, while I said (my company name) she registered Blah blah blah bank in Florida (but maybe you hear music sometimes even though there is no music playing, these things happen). Based on the rest of our conversation, she likely does not have a hearing problem, but rather a cluster of symptoms related to IKMTYS. She probably does not need to check with her doctor to get a referral to a hearing specialist, but she is certainly in need of help. What is this IKMTYS anyway? Please continue reading!
This woman appears to be suffering from a bit of "I Know More Than You Syndrome" (for the remainder of this post to be referred to as IKMTYS - it's a lot to type). Symptoms can include a listening impairment, a hearing what you want to hear auditory hallucination, and and unreasonable belief that what someone is telling you is not accurate. Now, we all suffer from this here and there, and it's been documented as far back as before the concept of time (or documentation). I would hope that most of us recognize the symptoms and give ourselves a swift kick in the tush. This is the most readily available treatment for the symptoms of IKMTYS, though there is debate as to whether or not it is an effective form of treatment for the sufferer (though it has been shown to help those close to the sufferer cope with the disease). Most experts agree a large dose of reality is in order. However, sufferers of IKMTYS rarely agree to this form of treatment as it can be too brutal for their egos to handle. Sadly, there is no known cure and without immediate treatment many people progress from the early stages of the disease to full blown "I know everything am never wrong and I'm NOT a total jerk now bow down and kiss my feet! Disease" IKEANWAINATJNBDAKMFD if you like. A complete recovery after developing the late stages of this disease has yet to be documented.
I know I'm a receptionist and not a doctor (or am I...?). I am aware that I cannot officially diagnose this woman with IKMTYS. But the signs are there and I hope she gets help soon.
I want to impress upon you the most obvious symptom presented in this conversation. Because, while it is indeed obvious to me (I deal with sufferers of this disorder on a fairly regular basis) it may perhaps be more subtle to you. I'm speaking (metaphorically of course as I am actually typing at the moment) about the part where she shouted - yes, shouted - that John Doe is in fact the CEO of my company. It is much more likely that I know who the CEO of my company is rather than this woman since I work here (and have worked here for, oh, more than a couple hours). By shouting about who the CEO of my company was, she displayed the final characteristic of IKMTYS - assuming the person you're speaking with knows nothing about the subject at hand.
My hope is this poor woman is in the early stages of IKMTYS and her friends and family will intervene. Early detection is key!
Me-Answer the phone with my company name
Her-Hello?
Me-Hello (my company name)
Her-What?
Me-This is (my company name)
Her-Yeah, I need to speak with John Gobldygook
Me-I'm sorry, what was the last name?
Her-Doe
Me-I'm sorry, I don't have anyone with that name. Were you trying to reach (my company name)?
Her-Yes!
Me-I am sorry, but there is no one here by that name.
Her-He's your CEO!
Me-No ma'am. My CEO's name is not similar to that.
Her-Is this blah blah blah bank in Florida?
Me-No. This is (my company name).
Her-Click!
Now, shall we look at where things went wrong, and why I am concerned? Yes, let's do that. First, I said my company name five times before she actually listened to the words I spoke. And frankly, I'm quite sure that she would not have listened to those words had she not first asked the question (granted, technically it was the third time she asked but we'll assume the call started with a somewhat bad connection). This was a classic symptom that she is indeed suffering from the illness I'll describe shortly.
The second symptom that causes me to believe there is a problem occurred when I asked her if she was trying to reach (my company name). She experienced an auditory hallucination. This is where you hear something that did not happen. In this instance, while I said (my company name) she registered Blah blah blah bank in Florida (but maybe you hear music sometimes even though there is no music playing, these things happen). Based on the rest of our conversation, she likely does not have a hearing problem, but rather a cluster of symptoms related to IKMTYS. She probably does not need to check with her doctor to get a referral to a hearing specialist, but she is certainly in need of help. What is this IKMTYS anyway? Please continue reading!
This woman appears to be suffering from a bit of "I Know More Than You Syndrome" (for the remainder of this post to be referred to as IKMTYS - it's a lot to type). Symptoms can include a listening impairment, a hearing what you want to hear auditory hallucination, and and unreasonable belief that what someone is telling you is not accurate. Now, we all suffer from this here and there, and it's been documented as far back as before the concept of time (or documentation). I would hope that most of us recognize the symptoms and give ourselves a swift kick in the tush. This is the most readily available treatment for the symptoms of IKMTYS, though there is debate as to whether or not it is an effective form of treatment for the sufferer (though it has been shown to help those close to the sufferer cope with the disease). Most experts agree a large dose of reality is in order. However, sufferers of IKMTYS rarely agree to this form of treatment as it can be too brutal for their egos to handle. Sadly, there is no known cure and without immediate treatment many people progress from the early stages of the disease to full blown "I know everything am never wrong and I'm NOT a total jerk now bow down and kiss my feet! Disease" IKEANWAINATJNBDAKMFD if you like. A complete recovery after developing the late stages of this disease has yet to be documented.
I know I'm a receptionist and not a doctor (or am I...?). I am aware that I cannot officially diagnose this woman with IKMTYS. But the signs are there and I hope she gets help soon.
I want to impress upon you the most obvious symptom presented in this conversation. Because, while it is indeed obvious to me (I deal with sufferers of this disorder on a fairly regular basis) it may perhaps be more subtle to you. I'm speaking (metaphorically of course as I am actually typing at the moment) about the part where she shouted - yes, shouted - that John Doe is in fact the CEO of my company. It is much more likely that I know who the CEO of my company is rather than this woman since I work here (and have worked here for, oh, more than a couple hours). By shouting about who the CEO of my company was, she displayed the final characteristic of IKMTYS - assuming the person you're speaking with knows nothing about the subject at hand.
My hope is this poor woman is in the early stages of IKMTYS and her friends and family will intervene. Early detection is key!
Friday, January 29, 2010
To drunk dial, or not to drunk dial...is that really the question?
Most adults that have graduated college and started their careers know drunk dialing is a bad idea. A super duper bad idea really. Unfortunately, some have yet to come to this drastic, dare I say - dramatic?, revelation. I'm assuming said people spent their college years binge drinking, missing classes, cheating on tests, and turning papers in quite late. However, I digress.
When you drunk dial, you're very ineffective at communication. You see, communication requires proper articulation of thoughts. Being drunk as a skunk (as the kids like to say) seems to impede the ability of your brain to make your mouth work properly. Which means you may think you're making perfect sense, while I'm wondering what in the world you're talking about. You're also very loud. That is annoying.
My exception to the do not drunk dial rule is this: Calling after hours. Please do leave a message after the tone! Because I laugh at your message. And then I save it. So I can laugh later. And I share it, because laughter is the best medicine.
When you drunk dial, you're very ineffective at communication. You see, communication requires proper articulation of thoughts. Being drunk as a skunk (as the kids like to say) seems to impede the ability of your brain to make your mouth work properly. Which means you may think you're making perfect sense, while I'm wondering what in the world you're talking about. You're also very loud. That is annoying.
My exception to the do not drunk dial rule is this: Calling after hours. Please do leave a message after the tone! Because I laugh at your message. And then I save it. So I can laugh later. And I share it, because laughter is the best medicine.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Keep it simple
Or, as my Grandfather would say...Keep it simple stupid!
What could I be referring to? Well, that would be leaving messages love! You see, I'm not interested that you're responding to an email/voice mail that Jake left you three days ago about a proposal on something-or-other but you haven't been able to get back to him until now because you were buying a house and your wife just had her 3rd(!) baby and the cat threw up on the carpet right when you were grabbing your coat to come to work today and then your car broke down and on top of all that you've just been so busy at work with all these deadlines and they're so much harder to meet what with Jenny being laid off a couple weeks ago and all and Oh my god! you've got this huge presentation to the VP of marketing in just a week and you haven't even been able to make it to the grocery store let alone return a phone call!
Yeah, see, I really don't care. All I need to know is your name, your phone number, and the best time for Jake to reach you. That's it! :) Isn't that much easier than giving a perfect stranger your whole life story? Don't you feel relieved that you don't have to tell me all that? I thought you would!
What could I be referring to? Well, that would be leaving messages love! You see, I'm not interested that you're responding to an email/voice mail that Jake left you three days ago about a proposal on something-or-other but you haven't been able to get back to him until now because you were buying a house and your wife just had her 3rd(!) baby and the cat threw up on the carpet right when you were grabbing your coat to come to work today and then your car broke down and on top of all that you've just been so busy at work with all these deadlines and they're so much harder to meet what with Jenny being laid off a couple weeks ago and all and Oh my god! you've got this huge presentation to the VP of marketing in just a week and you haven't even been able to make it to the grocery store let alone return a phone call!
Yeah, see, I really don't care. All I need to know is your name, your phone number, and the best time for Jake to reach you. That's it! :) Isn't that much easier than giving a perfect stranger your whole life story? Don't you feel relieved that you don't have to tell me all that? I thought you would!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Excuse me, my other lines are ringing!
The purpose of a receptionist is pretty simple: Answer the phone, transfer calls, and greet guests. Our purpose is NOT to chat with you on the phone whilst other lines ring off the hook. I understand. I have a nice friendly voice. I am pleasant on the phone. I do my very best to not be rude. But you see, when you are engaging me in a conversation beyond the full name and/or extension of the person you are calling while you can hear the phones ringing in the background, you are being rude and forcing me to be rude as well. Something you clearly fail to understand is this - there is another person on the other end of that line that has caused my phone to ring. While you are trying to chat with me, that person has to wait. They don't know why they have to wait. All they know is the phone just rings and rings and rings! They shouldn't have to wait at all. They should be able to have their call answered in a timely manner (I'm sure you appreciated it when I answered your call after only one ring!). After all, that's what I was hired to do. It's my prime directive so to speak. So, please don't ask me how my day is and try to engage in playful banter. I want none of it.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Being a jerk is uncalled for
Must you take your bad day out on a woman that's just doing her job? No, I don't think you must do that. I think what you must do is take a step back and reexamine your life. Determine where your mother went wrong when teaching you proper etiquette. Or perhaps, she did nothing wrong and it's really just bad decision making on your part. Whatever the case may be, you seem to be a terribly unhappy person that defines the meaning behind the term "Misery loves company." Yours is not the type of company I would ever chose to keep, so please refrain from calling me any further-I do not like you. I only like those that know the names and extensions of the person(s) they are calling. Have a great day!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Phone harassment-in general just bad karma-and often illegal
I had a very bad experience yesterday my dear reader(s). An incredibly unstable individual decided to take her bad day out on me. To the point that she made threats to my safety. This is not proper phone etiquette. Nor is it the best way to live one's life, but we'll keep this discussion to proper phone usage.
This is the family friendly-ish edited versions of our five (yes, 5) conversations.
Call #1
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name.
Her-Yeah! Who is this?!?!?
Me-Repeat company name
Her-WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!
Me-This is company name
Her-NO!!!!!! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!?!
Me-Who are you trying to reach?
Her-You been calling me all day. Stop it or get bent!
Me-I'm a switchboard operator, I do not make phone calls.
Her-Begins screaming incoherently
Me-Hangs up
Call #2
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name.
Her-Oh I got you now! I'm reporting your ass!
Me-Excuse me?
Her-Your dead
Me-do not threaten me
Her-Begins screaming incoherently
Me-hangs up
Call #3
Me-(recognizing the phone number)Answering the phone less politely than normal with my company name.
Her-WHAT????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me-Ma'am, you're the one that keeps calling me
Her-Begins screaming incoherently
Me-Stop calling me or I will have to report you
Her-continuing to scream
Me-hangs up
Call #4
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name (she decided to call from a different phone # this time).
Her-$#@!^^$* (*%^#!%@ %%^&***#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me-Hangs up
Call #5
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name (she decided to call from yet another phone # than the previous two).
Her-I'm going to ____ rip your %*#!^)@ ______ off and _________ you _____.
Me-I've written down all the numbers that you've called me from and I will report you to the authorities. I suggest you stop calling me.
Her-Silence
Me-Hangs up
Let's dissect this incident to clarify where she may have misunderstood what to do when calling other people shall we?
Mistake number one
She did not know who she was calling. As you no doubt know from previous posts, I've found this to be an unhelpful no-no for everyone that is involved. She asked multiple times in her first call who the hell I was. Just a side note, it's not nice to swear at people you know, let alone those you don't.
Mistake number two
She did not seem to be well practiced in the listening skill department. As you also likely know from previous posts, I find this a very important skill to grasp. It will help you not only in your various phone interactions throughout your day, but in life in general as well. I knew she was not good at listening again from her multiple demands to know who the hell I was. Remember to open your ears (instead of just your mouth) every time you speak with someone-practice makes perfect! If you do your best to listen in all your interactions with others, and you'll have it down in no time! I know you all can do this!
Mistake numbers three and four
She kept calling. This in spite of the fact that she did not seem to know who or why she was calling. This caused her to be more frustrated I'm sure, which then seemed to cause her to break with normal perceptions of acceptable behavior and move in to the realm of threats of physical harm to me. That, my lovelies, is in fact against the law. Which mistake #4. I do not advise breaking the law, as it can only lead to you getting into various degrees of big trouble. That's no fun at all!
Did she do anything right?
Well, it seems she did learn from mistake #2. She decided to listen when I said I would have to contact the authorities and firmly suggested she not contact me again. The fifth call was indeed her final call to me (thus far).
The lesson here is quite simple. Everyone has caller ID these days. I know where you are, and don't you forget it.
This is the family friendly-ish edited versions of our five (yes, 5) conversations.
Call #1
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name.
Her-Yeah! Who is this?!?!?
Me-Repeat company name
Her-WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!
Me-This is company name
Her-NO!!!!!! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!?!
Me-Who are you trying to reach?
Her-You been calling me all day. Stop it or get bent!
Me-I'm a switchboard operator, I do not make phone calls.
Her-Begins screaming incoherently
Me-Hangs up
Call #2
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name.
Her-Oh I got you now! I'm reporting your ass!
Me-Excuse me?
Her-Your dead
Me-do not threaten me
Her-Begins screaming incoherently
Me-hangs up
Call #3
Me-(recognizing the phone number)Answering the phone less politely than normal with my company name.
Her-WHAT????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me-Ma'am, you're the one that keeps calling me
Her-Begins screaming incoherently
Me-Stop calling me or I will have to report you
Her-continuing to scream
Me-hangs up
Call #4
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name (she decided to call from a different phone # this time).
Her-$#@!^^$* (*%^#!%@ %%^&***#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me-Hangs up
Call #5
Me-Answering the phone politely with my company name (she decided to call from yet another phone # than the previous two).
Her-I'm going to ____ rip your %*#!^)@ ______ off and _________ you _____.
Me-I've written down all the numbers that you've called me from and I will report you to the authorities. I suggest you stop calling me.
Her-Silence
Me-Hangs up
Let's dissect this incident to clarify where she may have misunderstood what to do when calling other people shall we?
Mistake number one
She did not know who she was calling. As you no doubt know from previous posts, I've found this to be an unhelpful no-no for everyone that is involved. She asked multiple times in her first call who the hell I was. Just a side note, it's not nice to swear at people you know, let alone those you don't.
Mistake number two
She did not seem to be well practiced in the listening skill department. As you also likely know from previous posts, I find this a very important skill to grasp. It will help you not only in your various phone interactions throughout your day, but in life in general as well. I knew she was not good at listening again from her multiple demands to know who the hell I was. Remember to open your ears (instead of just your mouth) every time you speak with someone-practice makes perfect! If you do your best to listen in all your interactions with others, and you'll have it down in no time! I know you all can do this!
Mistake numbers three and four
She kept calling. This in spite of the fact that she did not seem to know who or why she was calling. This caused her to be more frustrated I'm sure, which then seemed to cause her to break with normal perceptions of acceptable behavior and move in to the realm of threats of physical harm to me. That, my lovelies, is in fact against the law. Which mistake #4. I do not advise breaking the law, as it can only lead to you getting into various degrees of big trouble. That's no fun at all!
Did she do anything right?
Well, it seems she did learn from mistake #2. She decided to listen when I said I would have to contact the authorities and firmly suggested she not contact me again. The fifth call was indeed her final call to me (thus far).
The lesson here is quite simple. Everyone has caller ID these days. I know where you are, and don't you forget it.
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